Tag: Jesus

Posted in Living this Life

What if?

Posted on by Sara

There was a time in my life when I could barely see past the darkness.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart…”

Every beautiful thing was covered in a shroud of fear of loss, living in the shadow of “what if?”

“…Test me and know my anxious thoughts…”

It’s sucked the joy, the peace, the life from my bones and left me hollow and trapped in a tomb of fear.

“…See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Ps 139:23-24

I will never forget the moment my Jesus shone a bright light on it. So many times He comes in with ideas we may already know, but need to hear in a new way. It all started when my amazing husband bought me a devotional one Christmas.

That January, I picked up this little life changing book by Elisabeth Eliot and God started the work of unraveling the web the enemy of our souls had trapped me in. It was a many layered process and is a much longer story than this simple post can contain, but all good stories must start somewhere. This is my “somewhere”.

I recently stumbled across this book, dusty on a bookshelf. As I cracked open the pages and saw the exclamation I had written in the margins, the Lord brought me back to this moment – to so many of the moments He gently walked with me and showed me the way out – step by step.

I don’t know what Goliath you might be facing, my friend. What news has shaken your soul or what unknown lies beyond what you may see, but I find such peace in reminding my own spirit of a great God who is already there and has prepared a way.

So here are the words I read that day. I will leave them here without much commentary. The concept is simple, even obvious… but the truth was transformative for me. I pray it helps release your soul to peace as well.

“We are meddling with God’s business when we let all manner of imaginings loose, predicting disaster, contemplating possibilities instead of following, one day at a time, God’s plain and simple pathway. When we try to meet difficulties prematurely we have neither the light nor the strength for them yet. “As thy days so shall thy strength be” was Moses’ blessing for Asher – in other words, your strength will equal your days. God knows how to apportion each one’s strength according to that day’s need, however great or small. The psalmist understood this when he wrote, “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure” (Ps. 16:5).

“What tomorrow’s cross I never seek to find. My Father says, ‘Leave that to Me, and keep a quiet mind’. (Anonymous)

Posted in Living this Life

Unbroken Melodies

Posted on by Sara

I watched them this last Saturday morning.

Father and son. With their guitars out, the son was performing for a Christmas event.

The young boy’s music wasn’t refined. He was just learning his notes and his fingers didn’t know their way around the strings of the guitar like his father’s did.

But none of that mattered, because there in that moment, the music was beautiful.

The father, an accomplished musician, sat with his son and played along. He laid the melody and carried the tune. And in that safe place, his son’s plucking rose to a new level.

His dad could have left his son alone on that stage to rise or fall on his own. He could have considered the venue not “worthy”of his expertise. He could have waited for his son’s playing to reach a higher level of skill. But he didn’t.

He simply sat down, and played with him.

And my heart shook a little within me. Because I saw myself there.

More than that, I saw my Jesus.

I remembered all those times I had wanted to hide from God’s voice. All those times I told God that I was not enough. That I don’t have the strengths, the talents, the abilities to do what He was asking of me.

And in these days of self help and innumerable books written on the building of our self esteem, of confidence based on ourselves alone, the hard truth came crashing in like a house of cards. Because I know that though I may try to disguise it, on my best days, the music I pluck on the strings of my life are clumsy and out of tune.

Isn’t that the source of some of our greatest fears? That when the moment of truth comes, we will find that we are not enough?

But as I watched that father play a beautiful song with his son, I realized that this truth should bring peace and confidence rather than fear.

Because we don’t have to depend on our own ability. We don’t rely on our own strength. And when the great Maker of the Universe descends to play the music of our lives alongside us, the beauty that rises is inexplicable!

With every hesitant note I play, I hear Him play strong and true beside me, carrying me and creating beauty I never dreamed of.

I see how my stumbling feet have learned to walk true because of the strong feet of Jesus walking beside me. I see how my warbling voice has gained new strength because of the strong voice of my Savior resounding in my heart. I see how all my insecurities and fears have been held in that safe place. And in that safe place, I find a strength I never knew existed.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed”  2 Corinthians 4:7-9

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“He Himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else… God did this so that they would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from any of us. ‘For in Him we live and move and have our being’.”  Acts 17:25-28

I find a deep soul sigh escape my lips. And the old gospel hymn springs from my heart

“Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I’m tired, I’m weak, I’m worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home”

Are you unsure of yourself today? Are you tired? Do you wonder where your strength will come from for what lies ahead of you? Do you find the notes of your life-song warbling a bit? Listen – do you hear it? The sound of His beautiful, steady tune rising up around you to complete your song?

Come, rest with me. In the great overflow of Jesus!

I’ve been feeling a bit undone today.

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Let’s be honest – not just today. I’m not really sure when it started, but my spirit is feeling restless and crowded.

Sometimes life just sidles up and catches you off guard. The mornings filled with all the chaos and noise that accompanies homeschooling, the dishes that won’t stop getting dirty and the mountains of laundry to be folded. The work assignments that pile up and the messages that need to be answered. The play dates with friends … basketball for one kid, taekwondo for the other… the lineup of needs that call to you every time you think you’ll catch a minute for yourself.

I know the many details of your life are different than mine, but do you feel it with me? That out of breath feeling where you think the edges just might be fraying but you haven’t stopped to look long enough to find out? And honestly, maybe you’re a little scared to look too closely. Because if we don’t stop, maybe we won’t notice how we’re falling apart on the inside. That giving 100% of yourself doesn’t meet all the needs around you – and at the end of the day, there’s just not enough of you to go around?

I keep waiting for life to slow down so I can catch a glimpse of God – but through the noise I keep hearing Him say, “find me here”.

Find Him here? In all this mess and noise?

How do I quiet my soul in this loud world to hear God’s gentle whisper?

I was putting up a nativity in my bedroom the other night – and I found myself cradling the manger a little longer than normal. Like if I held on to that cold ceramic Jesus for a few extra minutes, He might warm my heart a bit.

Then, as I reached for the wise man to set him next to Jesus, I found myself holding my breath – it was like I was feeling an unexpected tinge of envy over the gift that magi was holding out to Jesus. I found my mouth uttering these words, “What do I have left for you Lord? What do I have to offer you here at the end of this day?”

And then these words come back to me from Oswald Chambers – “My personal life may be crowded with small petty incidents, altogether unnoticeable and mean (average); but if I obey Jesus Christ in the haphazard circumstances, they become pinholes through which I see the face of God, and when I stand face to face with God I will discover that through my obedience thousands were blessed… If I obey Jesus Christ, the Redemption of God will rush through me to other lives, because behind the deed of obedience is the Reality of Almighty God”

Pinholes through which I see the face of God!

shafts of light

sun shining through clouds

There it is! In that moment, as I saw a wise man holding out his gift in a little Nativity on my dresser tonight, I saw myself. My gift isn’t made of gold and doesn’t smell of Frankincense, but it holds the same value to Jesus. And as I plunge my hands into a sink full of dirty dishes, tackle that laundry mountain with renewed energy, or just simply let my heart wrap around this gift of mothering these 3 loud and wonderful children, I feel the hardness seep out of my heart as I let myself offer these gifts to God. My gift is obedience in this moment. My gift to Him is this moment.

Here in this moment, this tired spirit hears these words from Psalm 51, and I am renewed: “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.”

He doesn’t want all that I do, He wants all that I am. I know this – I have pleaded with others to believe it. And yet somehow I stumble into this lie that I just need to finish this next thing, and then I’ll have more time for Jesus. That if I can just get past this next deadline, this next week full of appointments and to do lists, then I will finally have time to rest and seek His face. That these mundane chores and interruptions are what’s keeping me from a deeper walk with Jesus – all while He’s waiting to meet me in the chores and through the interruptions.

“Peter walked on water to go to Jesus, but followed Him afar off on the land… it requires the supernatural grace of God to live 24 hours in every day as a saint, to go through drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes” – Oswald Chambers

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us” 2 Corinthians 4:7

Lord, help me – help us all – find You here in this place. Right here where we are. And may we gaze up the shafts of our moments of obedience to find your face!

Undone