I’m not necessarily proud of it. In fact, I feel a little dirty, sitting here, sharing this personal detail of my life with you.
I cleaned my fridge. Not the typical swipe the front with a rag and hope nobody looks too closely kind of cleaning that I normally do. I took out the drawers.
I’m not sure if you’ve done that recently. You’re probably a much better housekeeper than I am, and if so, this doesn’t concern you. But here we are, being honest with each other, so I’m going to keep going.
First – a picture:
I blame my children for spilling something and not telling me about it. Chances are I wouldn’t have bothered to look this closely if they had, but let’s not tell them that.
At first glance, upon removing said drawers, my impulse was just to shove the drawers back in and go on my merry way. I mean … who really sees that part of my fridge anyway?
Right?
How many parts of our house exist that we just can’t let anyone see? There was a moment when I thought that terrible color was just permanent part of the plastic, and then there was the moment when my dog started sniffing and I wondered if it was a new life form emerging.
And as I stared at that embarrassing space, trying to will myself to do something about it, I remembered a time when Jesus talked about cleaning the outside of a cup but the inside was still filled with greed and self-indulgence (Mt 23) … He had some pretty strong words about that. And suddenly I started thinking about all the ways we pretty up the outside of our lives and just hope no one will get too close or look deep enough to see the reality that our social media filters cover up so effectively.
I don’t have a whole lot more to say right now. I have a fridge to clean.
But I know that as I do, I’ll be talking with Jesus, asking Him to show me what parts of my life I need to drag into the light and let Him heal and clean. It’s worth it… no matter how uncomfortable it is.
And I’ll be celebrating these words as I go: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Feels pretty good to know anyone can come over and look in my fridge without me hiding in shame… now just don’t look under my bed ;P
“Open your mouth wide and I will fill it” … what a funny phrase to have running through my head all day. It just popped in there and wouldn’t stop, like when you hear that ear worm song that’s on repeat all day long. So I wandered around the amusement park that day in December when all of this began, a bit bemused and filled with curiosity.
As I sit down to write, it is now a couple months later. I have a story to tell, but it is very incomplete, and I have to confess I am still a bit bemused and filled with curiosity over what God is doing. So I invite you into the middle of this story as I travel this road with Jesus.
In the last year, God has been showing me a beautifully intimate form of personal care – a friend giving me a grill when mine is wearing out, a loveseat that matches my decor perfectly right when I was looking for a new chair to replace the one I’ve had for 15 years… small details that don’t mean much in the grand scheme, but declare to this heart that God sees, and He who sees the sparrows cares about the intricate details of our lives as well.
So when God started whispering these beautiful, simple words to my heart, I started to look up in expectation and wonder at what He is promising. I found the origin of the words in Psalm 81: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it”. I read further… I opened commentaries and dove a bit deeper. And I discovered these words from Spurgeon that captured my heart:
“When the mother-bird brings food she never has to ask the little ones to open their mouths wide; her only difficulty is to fill the great width which they are quite sure to present to her: appetite and eagerness are never lacking, they are utterly insatiable…picture a nest of little birds reaching up their mouths, and all opening them as wide as they can.”
Hey Spurgeon – guess what? I have that exact picture because that is precisely what happens in my backyard every spring!
Do you see what I see when you look at this picture? The utter helplessness of those baby birds to provide for themselves? The wide open expectancy of those beaks on hearing the sound of their mother approaching? My heart leaped at this realization – this is how God is asking me to live my life! No more chasing after my own means of provision, no more carrying the constant burden of control. Just release and open my mouth, expectantly waiting for God to fill it. I read on, and my heart beats faster:
“You may easily over-expect the creature, but you cannot over-expect God, ‘Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it;’ widen and dilate the desires and expectations of your souls, and God is able to fill every chink to the vastest capacity… Our cup is small, and we blame the fountain. (Spurgeon)
I read these words and resolve: I no longer want to live in small expectation, carrying memories of disappointments and longings not satisfied. I want to widen my desires and expand my expectations of what God will do for me.
As children, we have big dreams and high expectations of life. But then the reality of bills and sicknesses and unmet expectations hit, and our hearts begin to shrivel. Cynicism sets in, we diminish our expectations because we fear disappointment, and we begin to close our mouth to God. In fact, the rest of Ps 81 speaks directly to that, and the sorrow God feels over our lack of trust.
So I set my heart to release more and trust as a child. I ask Him to help me believe – to help me see Him as a God who provides without limit. But how? How do we see beyond the loss and the pain and the drama and the material wants and the demands of others and the distractions of our tech driven world – how do we see beyond our current mud puddle to the offer of a holiday at the sea?1 To not wonder where or how the provision will come, but only to look to the heavens with curious expectation, watching for His hand to fulfill His promise. “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it”.
Let me tell you what has happened in the last 2 months since all this took place and I set my heart to trust. It is the tale of a two cars, a dryer, a diamond, and some other stuff.
We have two cars. One is the newer “good” car, the other one we bought when I was pregnant with our first child…. it is now over 20 years old, has 265,000 miles on it, and I call it “Old Faithful” because it just never stops running. Warning lights start flashing on the “good car”, and despite attempts to get it diagnosed and fixed, we found ourselves stranded on the side of the road one night while driving our daughter home for Christmas break. Yet He says,”Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
Multiple visits to multiple garages resulting in multiple bills finally led us to a more expensive garage who would diagnose a more expensive repair … but it’s our main car and we need it, so we go ahead and stretch our finances to get it repaired. “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
On a Monday like any other, just a couple weeks ago, while driving “Old Faithful” from Walmart to Taco Bell to pick up lunch for my boys, someone turned into me and totaled good “Old Faithful”. Gratefully, I am not totaled, and as we get the newer car back from the garage, we begin to hunt for a replacement vehicle for the one that was just wrecked. “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
Then there’s the ring … and the day I look down at my hand and discover the diamond that has been there every day of our marriage these 23 years is now missing… “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
And on the day of a massive winter storm… our dryer stops working. “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
Our car shopping is turning up empty thus far… “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
And just this morning, as we drive to church, the newer car that we have dumped more money into than we would have anticipated is now flashing all the warning lights that is has been giving us for the last 2 months, and it appears we are back at square one. “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
So here I sit on this chilly Sunday afternoon, aware that my current circumstances are not matching the expectation in the promise I have been receiving from God. I asked Him to help me believe – and it seems He is doing the opposite.
Do you hear it in the air? That temptation to listen to that great lie the enemy of our souls has been whispering since the beginning of time? That voice that says, “did God really say…?”
So I have a choice to make. It’s a choice that each of us face every day of our lives.
Will I let my current circimstances define my belief in God’s promises – or will God’s promises define how I see my circumstances?
As I sit here on this chilly Sunday afternoon, I think of these words from Scripture: “For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him [Jesus]. (2 Corinthians 1:20)
And these: “Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection” Proverbs 30:5
And “my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:19)
So I say it again: Will I let my current circimstances define my belief in God’s promises – or will God’s promises define how I see our circumstances?
How do you then reconcile a life that doesn’t seem to be lining up with the promises you thought you were hearing from God? It is easy to sit here, on this chilly Sunday afternoon, and resent God for promising good things while my situation continues to worsen. I mean, let’s be honest – my situation isn’t even that bad. It’s just earth stuff and inconveniences I’m grappling with. There is so much life-and-death struggle all around us: traumas and hurts and insecurities and fears pressing in. How do we cut through the fog to understand what God is really promising us?
And I think that might be the key question right there– how do we cut through the fog?
How do we understand that “Now we see through a glass dimly” (1 Corinthians 13)? Peter demonstrated this when he stepped out of the boat, eyes on Jesus, and against all odds found his feet walking on top of the waves. His feet remained steady while His eyes were on Jesus. Trust cuts through the fog. Trust hushes the challenging voice of the enemy, calms the restless heart, and releases the controlling compulsions. Trust chooses to believe what is true when the world feeds us false visions of a tainted reality.
Trust chooses what to see. My story tells of a lost diamond – but it doesn’t include the gift of an old ring that might help replace what was lost. My story tells of a broken dryer right when we needed a touch of encouragement. A week later, a hand-me-down dryer was delivered, and just this weekend we celebrated fresh laundry and clean, dry clothes! My story doesn’t include the day my husband left to get groceries and came home with 3 dozen eggs that were being given out for free by generous souls who wanted to bless others. As I crack those eggs into our French Toast this morning, I thank God for providing for us in unexpected winks from Him that tell me He sees, He cares, I am safe in His hands. Then there was a “random” gift handed to my husband as we entered church (just 30 minutes after those warning lights started flashing again) – a very specific gift given by a friend who knows my husband loves the’80’s. This friend didn’t know the discouragement that had just hit us, but he came armed with encouragement right when we needed it. There are so many lavish blessings that surround us, and we miss them because our myopia only repeats to us the stories of loss. So we rejoice, we give thanks, while we continue to live in this thin place between what is and what will be. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16)
Trust means we know that His vision is so much clearer than ours. It means knowing that we see today and maybe part of tomorrow – He sees all eternity, and “all my days … written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16)
Trust teaches us the beauty of Paul’s words reminding us to look beyond our circumstances: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want…” (Philippians 4:12)
Trust tells me that while I am restlessly wondering how the bills will all get paid and how we will meet the needs we currently have, Jesus says, ““Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Mt 6:25-27)
Trust believes that the firmness of His promises are more sure than the mirages we see all around us. Trust tells me to “open your mouth wide, and I will fill it”.
So today, on this chilly Sunday afternoon, I choose to trust His promises. I know His timing is often different than mine, and that “His ways are not my ways” (Isaiah 55:8). And so I lay down control and that crazy, constant urge to “fix it” myself – and I let His promises speak louder to me than my fears. I will dig up the deep promises of His Word every day, and I will choose to let them define that day’s circumstances for me. I will do this with every sunrise and every sunset, for “His mercies are new every morning” and “from the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised” And when I falter, He promises to help even in that (Romans 8:26).
And that’s my story. At least all has been written on the pages of my life so far. But it is enough. Some stories are about what happens in the middle.
“Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it…”
it looks a little like this:
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)
1 “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis)
It’s a long, complicated road, isn’t it? This thing we call life. Yet we trip along, thinking we know where we’re going, with lofty plans and daring dreams.
They say hindsight is 20/20 – sometimes it can serve as a guidebook for how to go forward. These are the stones of remembrance that we set along the way as we go – to remind us of what to hold onto when the waves threaten to take us under.
I’m thinking back to those reckless and wandering days when I lived in Amsterdam, eager to share my Jesus with everyone I could. Those were the days my opportunities were as big as my dreams and the world was a playground. Those were also the days the imbalances in my heart were coming to the surface and I started to lose my way. When your 20 years haven’t prepared you for when your world tips sideways, how do you determine what is true? How do you stop your mind from tunneling into wormholes you can’t find your way out of, with its obsessive thoughts and restless wanderings? I’ve lived many trips around the sun since those days – yet do you feel it with me? Like the world is tipping sideways once again?
Those were the days when I learned a lesson that has shaped my life at many different junctures. A stone was established that I have clung to many times. And I turn there once again. Because I’m guessing you feel it like I do. The voices coming from all directions. They’re telling us to believe a multitude of opposing viewpoints. They can get your mind tunneling into wormholes you can’t get out of and keep you awake at night with obsessive thoughts and restless wanderings that seem to find no end. The anger can seep into your soul and the defensive posture can rob you of any joy you have left.
Do you feel it? The tension all around? When Jesus said that we are in the world but not of the world, I suspect this is part of what He was talking about. So the rock that I cling to? Don’t laugh at the me for the simplicity – maybe just go there with me and breathe deeply of the freedom. From the mouth of David, I hear these words – “lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2
There is a Rock that rises above the fray. A Truth that gives us a firm foundation to stand on. Brothers and sisters, why do we turn to political ideologies and competing theories that abound in all directions when there is a Truth that cannot be shaken? When the news cycle brings us changing perspectives and disappointing information on a daily basis, repeat with me this simple fact: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever”. When you open your social media account to the frenzy of accusations and anger, repeat it again: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” When the anger threatens to consume your own soul, repeat it yet again. Because this, my friend, is how you keep your head when the world is tipping sideways. Find your foundation and cling to it at all costs.
This means, knowing your reason for being. Jesus was 12 when He disappeared from a caravan of people doing what they usually do. He broke the mold and walked a different path. When He was finally found, His simple answer to their concerned questions was “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49)
Can we all take a deep breath and talk about this for a minute?
What does it mean to be about our Father’s business? As I sat in church 10 years ago on that typical Sunday morning, listening to Gary Smalley talk, I had no idea he was about to forever change the posture of my walk with Jesus. He said words that morning that have shifted the way I see my role in this world. He talked that morning about “building a life according to the guidelines of Scripture”.
Again, please resist the urge to read on too quickly because the simplicity of that statement seems like something we all really know. Stop and read that again – Building a life on Scripture alone. Sola Scriptura – that means not in response to the world around you. Not in response to other’s expectations of you. Not in response to your culture or your family’s patterns. Simply a life built on what our Creator says. Pure and simple. Direct and unmuddied. Jesus said “Seek first the Kingdom of God” (Mt 6:33). C.S. Lewis put it like this – “Put first things first and second things will follow. Put second things first and you lose both first and second things.” I feel like we’ve been focusing an awful lot on second things, and we stand to lose it all. Let’s peel back the layers and get back to what really matters.
Do you feel it? That tremendous weight lifting? The clarity settling in? I’m not talking easy – it’s the hardest task you can undertake. But it’s clear. It goes something like this:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6-7)
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Heb 10:24)
I’ve been camping around this one a lot lately – “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil 4:8) Pull up a chair with me, let’s savor this a bit. We need to care for the state of our souls these days – is there any better help than choosing to reign in our thoughts and turning them to the pure, the lovely, the admirable?
Now – turning outward:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph 4:29) (emphasis added)
“Warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess 5:14)
“… guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge,” (1 Tim 6:20)
“Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly… Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.” (2 Tim 2:14)
Let me be extremely bold here. Did you notice that very rarely do any of these statements involve a reaction to anything or anyone? This is a simple clarion call for us on how we ought to live, regardless of how others choose to live, what they say, or how they treat us.
That means, this is for you, follower of Jesus.
Regardless of whether you voted for this president or the previous one.
Regardless of whether you support a vaccine or not.
Regardless of whether you listen to CNN or Fox news.
Regardless of whether you wear a mask or choose not to.
Regardless of any of your feelings on the culture wars that rage around us.
Because we all need Jesus. And those of us who claim the name of Jesus all live under the same guidebook – so let’s stop pretending that it’s ok to set up in different camps and hurl stones at each other. We all have been created by God for good works which He prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10) So my question to you is this: What is that good work that He has prepared for you to do? And how are we doing at that?
Let us remember for a moment, that every person who lives and breathes on this planet carries the imprint of God. “Let us make man in our image”, God said in those first days of creation. There is not a soul on this wide earth who skipped over that step. Imago Dei – the image of God. At what point does someone’s political belief or view on current cultural issues give me the right to speak of them in any way other than as someone who carries the imprint of God and is worthy of my respect based on that fact alone? Lewis understood that the eternal destination of every person we meet should color our every interaction when he said, “It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”
Can we get back to simple basic foundations? And just do that? Let the pundits talk. Let the world spin sideways if it will. Our simple following of a simple truth will do much more good in this world than all the accusations made on social media, all the forwarding of angry opinions and all the defensive posturing. “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king” (1 Peter 2:15) A little context makes that statement even more powerful. This is the the same Peter who cut off someone’s ear while trying to defend Jesus. This is written in the days when followers of Jesus were being used as human torches and Nero was on a rampage to destroy Christianity. Keep that in mind, put it in persepective with where things are at in our world today, and please, go read it again.
A world is changed when hearts change. I have rarely seen a heart change in response to anger or accusation, but I have witnessed many hearts changed by lifting Jesus up high in all His winsome love, tender mercy and forgiving grace. I have seen one wounded soul declare to another that there is Hope and His name is Jesus. That there is no sorrow or pain that is not covered by the blood of Jesus on the cross. That there is healing when we discover who He created us to be and lay our baggage at the foot of the cross. That trickle of person to person can turn into a wave that can change a country, even a world when they’re not looking. We know our call, we know our Creator, we know the task at hand. Let’s just do that and trust God with the rest.
Is this not enough to occupy an entire life? Of course we need to be well informed and engaged like the men of Issachar from 1 Chronicles 12. But is our myopia deafening us to the cries of the world around us?
What are we spending the majority of our energy on? Where do we expend our passion? Our influence? When someone walks away from being with you, how do they feel? Have you invested in their soul? Their eternity? What conversations would Jesus be engaging in right now? Let’s go there with Him and not let the brush fires around us pull us away from the battle for people’s souls at home and around the world.
Brothers and sisters who carry the name of Jesus, let’s fill the minutes of our lives with what matters for eternity. With what can change the state of a heart for ever. Not what might win us an argument today. “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season… keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.” (2 Tim 4:2) “
For now, I’m out of words. I’ll just leave this here, with the words of Jesus – “Let your light so shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” Mt 5:14
Our God is a consuming fire 