Tag: life

Posted in Living this Life

Light on a Hill

Posted on by Sara

It’s a long, complicated road, isn’t it? This thing we call life. Yet we trip along, thinking we know where we’re going, with lofty plans and daring dreams.

They say hindsight is 20/20 – sometimes it can serve as a guidebook for how to go forward. These are the stones of remembrance that we set along the way as we go – to remind us of what to hold onto when the waves threaten to take us under.

I’m thinking back to those reckless and wandering days when I lived in Amsterdam, eager to share my Jesus with everyone I could. Those were the days my opportunities were as big as my dreams and the world was a playground. Those were also the days the imbalances in my heart were coming to the surface and I started to lose my way. When your 20 years haven’t prepared you for when your world tips sideways, how do you determine what is true? How do you stop your mind from tunneling into wormholes you can’t find your way out of, with its obsessive thoughts and restless wanderings? I’ve lived many trips around the sun since those days – yet do you feel it with me? Like the world is tipping sideways once again?

Those were the days when I learned a lesson that has shaped my life at many different junctures. A stone was established that I have clung to many times. And I turn there once again. Because I’m guessing you feel it like I do. The voices coming from all directions. They’re telling us to believe a multitude of opposing viewpoints. They can get your mind tunneling into wormholes you can’t get out of and keep you awake at night with obsessive thoughts and restless wanderings that seem to find no end. The anger can seep into your soul and the defensive posture can rob you of any joy you have left.

Do you feel it? The tension all around? When Jesus said that we are in the world but not of the world, I suspect this is part of what He was talking about. So the rock that I cling to? Don’t laugh at the me for the simplicity – maybe just go there with me and breathe deeply of the freedom. From the mouth of David, I hear these words – “lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2

There is a Rock that rises above the fray. A Truth that gives us a firm foundation to stand on. Brothers and sisters, why do we turn to political ideologies and competing theories that abound in all directions when there is a Truth that cannot be shaken? When the news cycle brings us changing perspectives and disappointing information on a daily basis, repeat with me this simple fact: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever”. When you open your social media account to the frenzy of accusations and anger, repeat it again: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” When the anger threatens to consume your own soul, repeat it yet again. Because this, my friend, is how you keep your head when the world is tipping sideways. Find your foundation and cling to it at all costs.

This means, knowing your reason for being. Jesus was 12 when He disappeared from a caravan of people doing what they usually do. He broke the mold and walked a different path. When He was finally found, His simple answer to their concerned questions was “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49)

Can we all take a deep breath and talk about this for a minute?

What does it mean to be about our Father’s business? As I sat in church 10 years ago on that typical Sunday morning, listening to Gary Smalley talk, I had no idea he was about to forever change the posture of my walk with Jesus. He said words that morning that have shifted the way I see my role in this world. He talked that morning about “building a life according to the guidelines of Scripture”.

Again, please resist the urge to read on too quickly because the simplicity of that statement seems like something we all really know. Stop and read that again – Building a life on Scripture alone. Sola Scriptura – that means not in response to the world around you. Not in response to other’s expectations of you. Not in response to your culture or your family’s patterns. Simply a life built on what our Creator says. Pure and simple. Direct and unmuddied. Jesus said “Seek first the Kingdom of God” (Mt 6:33). C.S. Lewis put it like this – “Put first things first and second things will follow. Put second things first and you lose both first and second things.” I feel like we’ve been focusing an awful lot on second things, and we stand to lose it all. Let’s peel back the layers and get back to what really matters.

Do you feel it? That tremendous weight lifting? The clarity settling in? I’m not talking easy – it’s the hardest task you can undertake. But it’s clear. It goes something like this:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6-7)

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Heb 10:24)

I’ve been camping around this one a lot lately – “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil 4:8) Pull up a chair with me, let’s savor this a bit. We need to care for the state of our souls these days – is there any better help than choosing to reign in our thoughts and turning them to the pure, the lovely, the admirable?

Now – turning outward:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph 4:29)  (emphasis added)

“Warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess 5:14)

“… guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge,” (1 Tim 6:20)

“Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly… Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.” (2 Tim 2:14)

Let me be extremely bold here. Did you notice that very rarely do any of these statements involve a reaction to anything or anyone? This is a simple clarion call for us on how we ought to live, regardless of how others choose to live, what they say, or how they treat us.

That means, this is for you, follower of Jesus.

Regardless of whether you voted for this president or the previous one.

Regardless of whether you support a vaccine or not.

Regardless of whether you listen to CNN or Fox news.

Regardless of whether you wear a mask or choose not to.

Regardless of any of your feelings on the culture wars that rage around us.

Because we all need Jesus. And those of us who claim the name of Jesus all live under the same guidebook – so let’s stop pretending that it’s ok to set up in different camps and hurl stones at each other. We all have been created by God for good works which He prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10)  So my question to you is this: What is that good work that He has prepared for you to do? And how are we doing at that?

Let us remember for a moment, that every person who lives and breathes on this planet carries the imprint of God. “Let us make man in our image”, God said in those first days of creation. There is not a soul on this wide earth who skipped over that step. Imago Dei – the image of God. At what point does someone’s political belief or view on current cultural issues give me the right to speak of them in any way other than as someone who carries the imprint of God and is worthy of my respect based on that fact alone? Lewis understood that the eternal destination of every person we meet should color our every interaction when he said, “It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

Can we get back to simple basic foundations? And just do that? Let the pundits talk. Let the world spin sideways if it will. Our simple following of a simple truth will do much more good in this world than all the accusations made on social media, all the forwarding of angry opinions and all the defensive posturing. “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king” (1 Peter 2:15) A little context makes that statement even more powerful. This is the the same Peter who cut off someone’s ear while trying to defend Jesus. This is written in the days when followers of Jesus were being used as human torches and Nero was on a rampage to destroy Christianity. Keep that in mind, put it in persepective with where things are at in our world today, and please, go read it again.

A world is changed when hearts change. I have rarely seen a heart change in response to anger or accusation, but I have witnessed many hearts changed by lifting Jesus up high in all His winsome love, tender mercy and forgiving grace. I have seen one wounded soul declare to another that there is Hope and His name is Jesus. That there is no sorrow or pain that is not covered by the blood of Jesus on the cross. That there is healing when we discover who He created us to be and lay our baggage at the foot of the cross. That trickle of person to person can turn into a wave that can change a country, even a world when they’re not looking. We know our call, we know our Creator, we know the task at hand. Let’s just do that and trust God with the rest.

Is this not enough to occupy an entire life? Of course we need to be well informed and engaged like the men of Issachar from 1 Chronicles 12. But is our myopia deafening us to the cries of the world around us?

Do we weep over young girls being ripped away from the arms of their mothers in Afghanistan as I write these very words? Do we even know about the hundreds of missing and murdered Indigenous women across this continent? Where is our outrage over the thousands of Native American children found buried in mass graves near boarding schools in our own backyard? Helpless people buried alive in crushed buildings in Haiti, others fleeing for their lives under unmentionable circumstances around this world … Does your heart break for the things that break the heart of God or are we so focused on defending our own rights that we don’t even hear the cries of those that God Himself called us to care for? “Learn to do good; Seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” Isaiah 1:17

What are we spending the majority of our energy on? Where do we expend our passion? Our influence? When someone walks away from being with you, how do they feel?  Have you invested in their soul? Their eternity? What conversations would Jesus be engaging in right now? Let’s go there with Him and not let the brush fires around us pull us away from the battle for people’s souls at home and around the world.

Brothers and sisters who carry the name of Jesus, let’s fill the minutes of our lives with what matters for eternity. With what can change the state of a heart for ever.  Not what might win us an argument today. “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season… keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.” (2 Tim 4:2) “

For now, I’m out of words. I’ll just leave this here, with the words of Jesus – “Let your light so shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven”  Mt 5:14

Posted in Living this Life

I still believe

Posted on by Sara

I stood there the other night and remembered… I remembered the day I ran away from it all.

The wind tickled my face as I stood at that outdoor concert and watched these three faithful men sing truth and proclaim the power of that truth. And my heart remembered.

I remembered a time when I almost lost my way. A season when nothing made sense and it was hard to know who or what to believe anymore. A time when choices danced before me like mirages and I couldn’t find solid ground.

I remembered the words pounding through my head as my feet pounded the pavement. “I believe in God the Father Almighty…” It feels like yesterday in my heart and soul.

bruge streets

“Creator of heaven and earth…” These thoughts crowding my mind – racing so fast, they can make you fear for your sanity sometimes. “I believe in Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son our Lord … MY Lord!” How had I ended up here? Trying to escape the cycle of bombarding thoughts, walking the streets of Brugge, Belgium, simply because I didn’t know where to go or what to do? How to quiet the noise inside my head – screaming at me from the moment I woke up until I finally found escape in sleep? “He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried”

It had been a long journey to this moment. Months in Amsterdam, telling people about my Jesus – the One who promises freedom. All the while, crumbling inside from my own lack of freedom. Trapped in my insecurities, in my doubts, in the dysfunction I had come to see as “normal”. So I ran away to Brugge, and I walked those streets.

I remembered those days when I was a kid. Long Sundays in church, reciting a liturgy I thought was old and “dead”. They called this the “Apostle’s Creed” – it didn’t mean much to me back then – just words we said every week. “He descended into hell. On the third day, He rose again. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of God the Father…” I remembered sitting in that college cafeteria, telling a wise professor that I was beyond all that now. I was exploring new ways to worship. He didn’t say much, only gently reminded me to not forget those who had gone before me – “You are standing on over hundreds of years of history…”, he said.

“I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic (universal Christian) church” Suddenly the scrambled thoughts started slowing down. I found myself mouthing the words, savoring each precious morsel… “the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, and the life everlasting”

bruge 2

There are many ways to worship, but in this moment, walking those old cobblestone streets, God began to set me free from the tyranny of the new. He brought those words to life in my heart on that day in Brugge, Belgium, and I no longer had to figure anything out – I knew. And that simple knowing quieted the screaming voices in my head.

My God showed me that as long as I clung to what I knew was true, He would lead me through what I didn’t know. Though emotions may soar to great heights and plummet to sordid depths, nothing can shake the reality of this foundation. I BELIEVE IN GOD THE FATHER – I wanted to shout it from the rooftops… and I still do.

Here is where I can plant my feet and not be shaken. In these days of confusion and fear around the world, it doesn’t take much to feel like a “wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6) Headlines scream terrifying news at us, the pundits on TV tell us what (and who) to believe, people are displaced, having to flee their homes, politicians ask us to put our faith in them – it’s hard to know who to follow and what to trust in anymore. “When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened” (Lk 21:9) I still believe in God, the Father Almighty”

We are surrounded by the constant shifting shadows of life – today I choose to plant my feet on the one thing that will never change. I still believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord” “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.” (Mt 24:35) I still believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Christian church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, and the life everlasting

And in the threatening waves, Jesus whispers, “Peace, be still”.

Posted in Living this Life

Wilderness Wanderings

Posted on by Sara

I pulled the plug this morning. On my pool.

It’s not a great pool – it’s pretty little, just about 36 inches tall and about 10 feet across. Nothing you can cannonball into, and stuck on the end of my patio, it certainly doesn’t do much for curb appeal. Just a big blue blob that has served as a sort of lifeline to my kids on those oppressively hot summer days that wouldn’t seem to end.

I’ve watched that blue blob deflate all morning – and I’m feeling all sorts of conflicted.

It seems to mark an end to something – but to what? The end of summer? I’m really ok with that, since this summer was just plain hard. The end of the challenges of 2020 – I’d like that to be true, but am not that naive. Maybe it marks the beginning of something? A fresh season – I’d gratefully embrace that! But deep in my gut I know that although the weather is fresher and cooler, not much is really changing in my life yet. Still kind of wandering in this desert we call 2020.

Just another day – only today, we pack away the pool. And I find myself reminiscing.

I won’t drag you into all those convoluted places with me. Some bring smiles, some bring tears – so here I sit, trying to find the words. A couple months ago, I asked the Lord where I should read next in my Bible. I don’t often have strong leanings on this – I kind of stumble around in my Bible until I find something that ignites a fire in me. Well, this time I felt very strongly that He wanted me to go through the book of Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy? Really? Have you checked your calendar God? I’m thinking I need something a bit more encouraging than Deuteronomy. Funny thing is, as I flipped on over to towards the front of the book, I find myself identifying with what I was reading a whole lot more than I thought I would. We find Moses reminiscing through the first few chapters. And it’s not pretty. There’s been alot of God performing great miraculous acts – and the people of Israel failing Him. Again and again.

I read through this list of failures, and I’m grateful I’m not as bad as they are. You know, with the grumbling and complaining and wanting to go back… Then that familiar nudge hits my spirit – like when the Holy Spirit seems to be squinting His eyes, tilting His head and saying, “really?” Maybe I need to read this again.

How many times have I found myself rolling my eyes at those forgetful Israelites who just wanted to go back to Egypt. Back to slavery? Really?! Don’t you remember how God got you out? Don’t you remember all those tears, the agony of a life lived in oppression?

Then I hear my own voice, bemoaning all the changes 2020 has brought to my life, and I’m saying “how soon can we go back to ‘normal’?” Now, there’s nothing wrong with “normal”, but what if it holds layers of oppression and slavery that God is trying to shake us free from? Maybe “normal” is code for “Egypt” in my life. If I’m really honest with myself, I don’t sound much different than those forgetful Israelites.

Maybe I don’t like the changes to my life in 2020, but the changes He has wrought in me are for good! What lies in the dust of the past that He is trying to move me out of? Sometimes it’s easier to do what we’ve always done rather than take the big steps towards change … but He has parted the Red Sea of our habits and brought us into a new way of living! I think of one of my favorite C.S. Lewis musings: “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” Do you find yourself longing for the mud pies? Let’s not lose this opportunity by constantly wanting to go back to our “normal”.

Then this verse hit me like a brick wall: “Now, when the last of these fighting men among the people had died, the Lord said to me, “Today you are to pass…” Finally moving on! But why now? Why did the Lord wait until the last one died before calling His people on up? I always thought it was about the lack of obedience that ran through them – and I know that’s a great part of it. But this time, as I read it, I realized that God is bringing the Israelites into a new world to fight new battles with men who have never fought a battle in their lives. They couldn’t depend on the strength or prowess of their army – they could only trust in the power of God.

I say I trust in God. But somedays it seems like I’m leaning on the things of earth a whole lot more. There are so many patterns in my full time ministry life that rely on the power of man – from fundraising to connecting with people around the country. And none of them have happened this year. At least not in the way we’re used to. It would be easy for anxiety to creep in. It would be easy for me to run ahead and try to figure this out. It would be easy to try to “fix this” in my own strength. And yet my God still stands as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire at night.

Could it be that God is calling us out of our patterns and habits to each day look to see if the pillar is moving? Can you imagine how the Israelites lived for 40 years – peeking out of the tent each morning to see if the pillar has moved yet? Maybe we need a little more of this…

Rather than relying on the month of the year and what we “normally” do to keep life moving, maybe we should start looking to see where He is moving and wait in the shadow of His pillar. I find this altogether terrifying and exceedingly freeing at the same time. Because we’re really good at giving this concept lip service in the church, but how good are we at living it? I construct my to do list, and then I get frustrated with my kids when they interrupt my “progress”. Maybe the Pillar is moving in a different way today. Will I listen to the Holy Spirit’s nudge to simply go there? Without argument. Without complaint. Without my own agenda? Oh, it’s hard to unlearn a lifetime of self-sufficiency – thank you, 2020, for bringing me to this place!

And what about that manna?! My kids think it’s hilarious that the word “manna” simply means “what is it?” . Sometimes when God’s blessings show up in such strange and unexpected ways, you simply look out and say, “now, what would you call that one?” – kind of like a modern day “Whatchamacallit”. It seems this year has brought a daily supply of Whatchamacallits to my doorstep. But every. single. day. God’s provision shows up.

And I must confess – I am a bit of a hoarder when it comes to my favorite things. I’m the one who will tuck my goodies away until they go bad rather than indulge in them all at once. I’m not proud of it. I just never want to run out of goodies. How I can relate to the Israelites on this one!

When you live in the daily insecurity of never knowing what the next day will bring, you want to hoard the familiar. The things you can depend on. What little control you have. And here God issues a resounding, “no”. He’s not giving into my whining. And when I overstep and try to take his provision into tomorrow, I find it has lost it’s flavor. Even turned rotten. I need to savor His goodness today, and expect fresh blessings tomorrow. “His mercies are new EVERY morning – Great is Your faithfulness!” Lamentations 3.

So these wilderness wanderings have me brought me right here. To this place of utter dependency. To a place of acceptance. To a place of peace. There is still plenty wilderness ahead of us – and battles to fight with untrained hands. But His pillar – it’s there! It leads us day by day. So let’s stop looking back. Let’s stop complaining about how life is different, here in this wilderness. Let’s start finding our manna.

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11