peace – Page 6 – Our God is a consuming fire

I’ve been feeling a bit undone today.

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Let’s be honest – not just today. I’m not really sure when it started, but my spirit is feeling restless and crowded.

Sometimes life just sidles up and catches you off guard. The mornings filled with all the chaos and noise that accompanies homeschooling, the dishes that won’t stop getting dirty and the mountains of laundry to be folded. The work assignments that pile up and the messages that need to be answered. The play dates with friends … basketball for one kid, taekwondo for the other… the lineup of needs that call to you every time you think you’ll catch a minute for yourself.

I know the many details of your life are different than mine, but do you feel it with me? That out of breath feeling where you think the edges just might be fraying but you haven’t stopped to look long enough to find out? And honestly, maybe you’re a little scared to look too closely. Because if we don’t stop, maybe we won’t notice how we’re falling apart on the inside. That giving 100% of yourself doesn’t meet all the needs around you – and at the end of the day, there’s just not enough of you to go around?

I keep waiting for life to slow down so I can catch a glimpse of God – but through the noise I keep hearing Him say, “find me here”.

Find Him here? In all this mess and noise?

How do I quiet my soul in this loud world to hear God’s gentle whisper?

I was putting up a nativity in my bedroom the other night – and I found myself cradling the manger a little longer than normal. Like if I held on to that cold ceramic Jesus for a few extra minutes, He might warm my heart a bit.

Then, as I reached for the wise man to set him next to Jesus, I found myself holding my breath – it was like I was feeling an unexpected tinge of envy over the gift that magi was holding out to Jesus. I found my mouth uttering these words, “What do I have left for you Lord? What do I have to offer you here at the end of this day?”

And then these words come back to me from Oswald Chambers – “My personal life may be crowded with small petty incidents, altogether unnoticeable and mean (average); but if I obey Jesus Christ in the haphazard circumstances, they become pinholes through which I see the face of God, and when I stand face to face with God I will discover that through my obedience thousands were blessed… If I obey Jesus Christ, the Redemption of God will rush through me to other lives, because behind the deed of obedience is the Reality of Almighty God”

Pinholes through which I see the face of God!

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There it is! In that moment, as I saw a wise man holding out his gift in a little Nativity on my dresser tonight, I saw myself. My gift isn’t made of gold and doesn’t smell of Frankincense, but it holds the same value to Jesus. And as I plunge my hands into a sink full of dirty dishes, tackle that laundry mountain with renewed energy, or just simply let my heart wrap around this gift of mothering these 3 loud and wonderful children, I feel the hardness seep out of my heart as I let myself offer these gifts to God. My gift is obedience in this moment. My gift to Him is this moment.

Here in this moment, this tired spirit hears these words from Psalm 51, and I am renewed: “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.”

He doesn’t want all that I do, He wants all that I am. I know this – I have pleaded with others to believe it. And yet somehow I stumble into this lie that I just need to finish this next thing, and then I’ll have more time for Jesus. That if I can just get past this next deadline, this next week full of appointments and to do lists, then I will finally have time to rest and seek His face. That these mundane chores and interruptions are what’s keeping me from a deeper walk with Jesus – all while He’s waiting to meet me in the chores and through the interruptions.

“Peter walked on water to go to Jesus, but followed Him afar off on the land… it requires the supernatural grace of God to live 24 hours in every day as a saint, to go through drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes” – Oswald Chambers

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us” 2 Corinthians 4:7

Lord, help me – help us all – find You here in this place. Right here where we are. And may we gaze up the shafts of our moments of obedience to find your face!

Undone

Living this Life

I don’t understand…

Posted on February 12, 2018February 13, 2018 by Sara

He just couldn’t understand why. This boy with curly blonde hair and big blue eyes, looking at me so quizzically. And I’m glad he couldn’t.

This 7 year old boy who loves Jesus with all his heart and has no limitations to his expectations of who Jesus is and what He can do.

It was just a normal morning. We were doing our regular reading routine this morning, the 3 kids and me. All of us a little sleepy and groggy, trying to wake up enough to start our day.

The reading we came to in our “Mini and Maxi devotions” was Luke 5. Peter and his friends had been fishing all night, without catching a thing. They come in to shore, and Jesus ends up using their boat as a makeshift pulpit. Then comes the miracle of a boatload of fish when Peter least expects it, followed by Peter’s well known response: “When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8)

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Maybe I’ve read this story too many times. Maybe I just know too well that feeling of being soiled and not wanting to be too close to Jesus in my shame. But as I read these words, I didn’t expect to see my Joshua’s face contort in utter confusion. “I don’t understand”, he said. So I tried to explain.

I asked him if he’s ever felt like he’s not good enough to be near Jesus. If he’d ever messed up so much that he felt too ashamed to come close to Jesus. As I talked, my overly expressive boy’s face changed from confusion to shock and horror. All he could say was, “but WHY?! Why wouldn’t you want to be with Jesus?!”

I’ve heard numerous sermons and explanations of that moment when Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to “such as these”. And here in front of my bleary morning eyes was this verse being lived out in front of me. Because on one hand, I know that when we compare ourselves to the great glory of God, we find ourselves, like Job, saying “My ears had heard of youbut now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myselfand repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42) And I believe this is what is happening in Peter’s heart in this moment.

But in comes crashing the beautiful paradox. Because, my friend! This also is true. And I believe this may be what was happening in Jesus’ heart in this moment. That beyond the reality of who we are compared to Him, He longs for us to come close and just be with Him.

In our filth.

In our emptiness.

In our shame.

I hear the words of Romans 8 ring loud in my heart – “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

And I see Him stooped low, casting off His crown for a manger, so that I can draw close to Him.

I see Him in agony on a cross, so that I can be made clean.

I see Him in all His glory beside God the Father interceding still on our behalf! (Romans 8:34)

And yet how many times have I hidden from Him because of my sin? How many times has my heart reeled with words like Peter’s “Go away from me – I am a sinner?”

As I hear His words still ringing in the air, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.“ (Mt 11:29) Did you hear that?!

AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOUL!

Oh how I long to be nestled in.

To come to Jesus with a heart as simple and clear as my Joshua’s – with no worry or doubt, just trust.

So come! Let’s not spend another day pushing back the One who gave it all to be close to you. His Promises are sure, His Arms are secure, His Words are true.

It’s time to start really believing them.

Jesus

You can fight outside

Posted on November 30, 2015 by Sara

“…if they want to fight, they have to go outside”, she said, “because my home will be a home of peace”

The words struck my young heart. And have been lodged there ever since. They weren’t directed at me – but part of me wonders if they were intended for me.

Some moments never leave you. Some moments come to us in a single sentence, and transform our lives forever… or shape our futures… or heal our pasts.

You rarely know it when it’s happening. These moments don’t contain lightning bolts. They come as a gentle whisper to the soul. Sometimes I feel like Elijah, looking for the presence of God, and not finding Him in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire… “but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face…” 1 Kings 19

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How was I to know, at a mere 12 years old, how my God would shape my life through this simple woman’s words? Standing in her kitchen, watching her make dinner while eavesdropping on a conversation intended for someone else, she simply explained the power of peace in her family. She articulated a concept that I had never heard anyone put words to.

I wonder how many years passed before I thought of those words again. But they lay like a seed, planted deep in the recesses of my heart. But those simple words gave me framework on which to build my marriage. A foundation on which to build my family. The courage to take a stand and declare, “My home will be a home of peace.” Though life became tumultuous – there existed an idea – a possibility. I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

There are more words in me – planted by people throughout my life. Gentle whispers sent into my life like shafts of light. Some I harvest – some are still growing. But today, I celebrate all those moments. I celebrate every person who has spoken into my life.

And I think about the words I speak – the crumbs I leave behind as I walk. ”Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 That unsuspecting bystander who sees me and my entourage of 3 in a grocery store, all of us at wits end. That it may benefit those who listen. That child who’s done something wrong and looks into your eyes- waiting for what’s to come… That it may benefit those who listen. That person sitting next to your family in a restaurant… That it may benefit those who listen. That nurse caring for your sick child… That it may benefit those who listen. Every soul, longing for some crumbs of grace to fall – something to point us to our Maker. crumbs 2

May I leave behind a trail of grace that changes lives as mine has been changed.

What words have been spoken into your life that have changed you?